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“He was told that the streets were paved with gold.”
From comedian Shelley Berman, as quoted by Lorne Michaels: “Before my grandfather came to America, he was told that the streets were paved with gold. And when he got to America he found out three things. One, that the streets were not paved with gold. Two, that the streets were not paved. Three, that he was…
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Guerra de las Galaxias, Presentado por ¡Cerveza Cristal!
The original Star Wars trilogy didn’t air in Chile until 2003, and when it did, it had only one sponsor, a beer company that in lieu of traditional commercials, hilariously inserted scenes featuring their beers. This is something I think about often. Apologies for the poor Spanish in the title. (Via Kottke)
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“If you can’t be a good example, at least try to become an interesting cautionary tale.”
Not sure what is exactly that Merlin Mann is up to, but he’s been posting words of wisdom on Github. Lots of gems.
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American Moviemakers on Letterman
Rewatching American Movie unlocked fond memories of Mark and Mike on Letterman. I cannot stop laughing.
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Pop (T)art(s)
From Wikipedia: “Introduced in 1964 and initially called Fruit Scones, the name was soon changed to Pop-Tarts as a pun on the then popular Pop Art movement.” (File under “things learned watching Jeopardy!)
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The Sears Wishbook
I had a lot of these toys so this is not me complaining, but one of my funniest Christmas memories is my stepmom handing me one of these and telling me to circle everything I wanted for Christmas. I went to town, greedily circling every item imaginable. That holiday morning, I believe I received exactly…
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Coyote V. Acme
Another New Yorker piece, in which Wile E. Coyote files suit against the Acme Corporation: “Mr. Coyote states that on December 13th he received of Defendant via parcel post one Acme Rocket Sled. The intention of Mr. Coyote was to use the Rocket Sled to aid him in pursuit of his prey. Upon receipt of…
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A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table
By Simon Rich Mom: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy. Dad: O.K. Grandmother: Did you see the politics? It made me angry. Dad: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex. Uncle: I’m having sex right now. Dad: We all are. Mom: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.…
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Eight Ways to Not Get Hit in the Face with a Brick
Wrote this for McSweeney’s back in 2004 but it’s just as relevant today. “If someone asks if they can hit you in the face with a brick, say no. Any other response guarantees you’ll get hit in the face with a brick.”